Hurt?

Honestly, are deep sentiments, passionate feelings really worth it? I am not that audacious to imagine I am the only person who can feel with such strength, but yes I am one of the very few. If I have been fortunate enough to find a man who can at least respect and understand the passion I have to offer if not reciprocate fully, I have also been unfortunate to find friends who misunderstand it wholly. I don’t know whether I should be grateful for the one or unhappy for the other.

Perhaps the case is not about me being misunderstood… maybe my emotions are misplaced or maybe I am wrong to feel in this way. A change is warranted but difficult to make. Where do I draw a line? When do I know that I am overstepping my limits? When do I know that I am not supposed to expect xyz from abc? The only thing I am absolutely sure of is the result of my dilemma — pain and lots of pain…?

So, once again, the same question — is it worth it? For what others do or don’t do, who suffers? I.

In this situation, one has two options 1. to change the internal factor or 2. to change the external factor. The first is difficult and the second absurd. After all, how many times will one change the external factor… whereas the emotional factor, alias the internal factor, is under your control and once changed remains changed for good! Though old habits die hard, the #1. option remains the most viable one.

If there is anyone out there thinking about the purpose of this post, well it was expressly for working out my confusion. Thanks for reading through.

“I say hey”

When loving seems difficult,
When speaking doesn’t come too easy,
When the heart feels heavy with an unnamed numbness,
I say hey!

When silently, unasked, tears prick your eyes,
When a kind touch of the hurting hand wrenches your soul,
When with each lonely step you miss the lost rhythm,
I say hey!

When you tell yourself all is over,
When you still hope with crossed fingers “God forbid”,
When you truly believe that you are insignificant,

I say hey!

I say hey, stop a while.
When loving seems difficult to you,
When speaking is also not easy,
Feel the presence of your silent companion,
Feel the pain weighing down on him.

I say hey, stop a while.
When tears prick your eyes unawares,
When the hurting kind touch wrenches your soul,
Turn around and do the same,
Do you see the glisten in his eyes?
The loneliness in your walk,
Doesn’t it match his dragging foot?

I say hey, stop a while.
When a voice had said all is over, another had said “God forbid”

If love was a bond, then realize —
The new-found pain is a greater bond,
If you had something to nurture then,
You have something to share now.

If love didn’t bridge the gap, pain will,
If that doesn’t work either…
Trust me… time will heal.

But once again, I say hey, stop a while.
Are you sure you want to let go?