20.7.06

To and for my IR family

The first step on a road,
And you know there are many more to come,
The first smile you share,
And many you pass on,
A silent tear you shed,
And someone secretly looks on,
The first hand you hold,
And a family is born.

On such a road a faltering step I kept,
A lingering sense of uncertainty around me,
And soon, very soon, there was the first smile,
A first hesitant hand was held out,
And where once all was unknown,
A family surrounded me,
To make me … one of its very own.

We skipped along this path,
Sharing joys of camaraderie,
Gulping each new experience passing us by,
Watching them become familiar,
As they pass from eye to eye.
On this joyride,
Sometimes, we lost a friend,
Sometimes, we greeted another
Holding hands through sorrow
And through a lot of fun
We mastered life together.

But the safety net now withdraws,
The family now recedes,
The launch pad stands ready to catapult
But am I ready?
Just a step away awaits a new future,
New place, new people
But may be not a new family.

I see behind me a small gap,
Hands slightly parted where mine had been
Beads of sweat on my palms
A hard reminder of what was.
An apprehension of what may not be.

But there was a smile lingering on their lips,
A sparkle in their eyes wishing me luck,
Bidding me farewell,
Tightly clasped fingers, covered every chink,
Standing apart I felt included,
Enveloped in the strength of love,
A love that bade me to take on the world.
Asking me to take just one faltering step forward.

And now I will.

Goodbye!

18.7.06

Sorry, not easy

Sorry doesn’t seem to be an easy word, but if easily said it can sure make relationships a lot easier to maintain. What’s more, its even makes things easy on the conscience. The irony, however, is that I can say all this only on hindsight. For instance a few years back a very special friend of mine became a victim of my inflated ego. I still remember the huge quarrel we had and my refusal to say sorry despite recognizing myself to be at fault. On the very same day, my friend was leaving town but even that fact kept me undeterred. There was no way I was going to ‘bend’ and till this date I regret that decision, that foolhardiness. Now when I want to say sorry to her and make amends, I don’t know where she is. What I believed to be a show of strength then was nothing but a weakness of character. Today I know it for fact, only the very strong can say sorry, the weak tend to run away. I ran away and in the bargain I lost a special friend.

~ Himani