Probing ties

Have you ever tried to probe,
The ties held close to the heart?
Have you ever tried to test,
The myriad shades in a start?

Have you ever felt
The overwhelming tide of distance?
Have you ever fought
The frenzied waves of an instance?

Have you ever given up, given in,
And then picked up the tossed strands again?
Have you ever unwound the knots,
Just to tie them back in another lane?

Have you then tired and despaired?
Felt ashamed of your weakness
& aware of your strength?
And then has the big why loomed?
Egging you on to fight the next length?

And the walls you built?
Breaking out, creeping in?
Sometimes protecting from the without,
At most times saving from what's within.

A crazy melee of thoughts,
They carry on and on,
Making you at times a sinner,
At other times, the sinned.
An endless shuffle,
A constant repeat,
There is the hint of strength,
But also weakness skimmed.

And finally...
How will this all end?
Will the endless grinding just come to a halt?
Or will the system crank out?
Or will there be some sort of a victory?
No sinner, no sinned,
Just a happy ending,
Of an endless story?