What is love...? Whoa! ask that and answers will pour in! My pet answer is ofcourse — " When a lifetime together doesn't seem enough". I read that somewhere when I was quite a kid and ever since the definition stuck with me. But what is love? Why does it happen? Is it only hormones or is there something deeply emotional to it? (that's what someone asked me). This may sound like a stupid question but a deeper thought will convince that it actually isn't. I mean given the human habit of euphemisms, it might just be possible that a purely sexual desire is, in the name of decency, called love! I know the next obvious question would then be "what about the reams of poems, books that have been written only on love, what about the movies that centre and in fact seem next to incomplete with the love twist..." indeed what about them?
I often try to sort this out... just for the heck of it!!
Love in some form or the other exists at all stages of our life and that too of a kind not connected to anything sexual. Like the love parents feel towards their kids and vise versa. Of course Freud has a very interesting take on this, but I'd rather not attribute much significance to this! Then again, the love one feels for siblings, friends, teachers... Assuming we accept that the feelings involved in these relationships is LOVE, let's see what's common in them — age of the person with whom the relationship is shared varies, a feeling of well being pervades your being when you are with them, more often than not when you recall any such 'loved' person there flashes before your eyes a trailor of happy memories, of laughter shared, of jokes cracked, of help rendered etc. In a nutshell, what really is conspicuous is the absence of discord. Even if one can recall those moments of discord they are made significant only by memories of the process of coming together. This is very significant. It shows that generally we love people with whom the chances of any vital clash is minimal and that is essentially possible when the mentalities of the two people match to a great extent. Its like whoever has the maximum number of right answers wins!! In effect, subconsciously, we always look for people who mirror the love we feel for ourselves... the greater the similarity the greater the love is. Say there is MA and BABY!! Ma loves Baby. Babies are selfish, not by choice but by necessity. When this Baby sees its Ma caring for its needs just as much as it cares for them himself, there follows love. Ma loves the child as she gave birth to it, she wants to, selfishly, protect it. The Baby needs to be protected, knows the pangs of hunger, the smarting pain, and knows the difference the Ma makes to it by bettering all adversities it feels, and so returns the love. This is a mutually sustaining process. So no one loses out. — Thus the emotion love has nothing to do with sex. So my fren who asked me the question should probably understand that the question is relationship specific!
I often try to sort this out... just for the heck of it!!
Love in some form or the other exists at all stages of our life and that too of a kind not connected to anything sexual. Like the love parents feel towards their kids and vise versa. Of course Freud has a very interesting take on this, but I'd rather not attribute much significance to this! Then again, the love one feels for siblings, friends, teachers... Assuming we accept that the feelings involved in these relationships is LOVE, let's see what's common in them — age of the person with whom the relationship is shared varies, a feeling of well being pervades your being when you are with them, more often than not when you recall any such 'loved' person there flashes before your eyes a trailor of happy memories, of laughter shared, of jokes cracked, of help rendered etc. In a nutshell, what really is conspicuous is the absence of discord. Even if one can recall those moments of discord they are made significant only by memories of the process of coming together. This is very significant. It shows that generally we love people with whom the chances of any vital clash is minimal and that is essentially possible when the mentalities of the two people match to a great extent. Its like whoever has the maximum number of right answers wins!! In effect, subconsciously, we always look for people who mirror the love we feel for ourselves... the greater the similarity the greater the love is. Say there is MA and BABY!! Ma loves Baby. Babies are selfish, not by choice but by necessity. When this Baby sees its Ma caring for its needs just as much as it cares for them himself, there follows love. Ma loves the child as she gave birth to it, she wants to, selfishly, protect it. The Baby needs to be protected, knows the pangs of hunger, the smarting pain, and knows the difference the Ma makes to it by bettering all adversities it feels, and so returns the love. This is a mutually sustaining process. So no one loses out. — Thus the emotion love has nothing to do with sex. So my fren who asked me the question should probably understand that the question is relationship specific!
I AM BY NO MEANS OVER... as because now I want to get my thoughts in order. But work comes first...so more later...till then chow! Damn I got to make a call too, to?... the reason of my confusion ofcourse. Poor thing out there in the suburbs. Can almost visualise him with the two-day stubble, gathered brows... There i go again, catc.... later!
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